Mr. Popularity

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Daniel & Hobbes

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This one appeared first in the Tucson Sentinel.

Arizona state Rep. Daniel Patterson lived with Georgette Escobar for about a year, in extramarital bliss. But then things went very, very wrong.

State Democratic leaders have called on beleaguered state Rep. Daniel Patterson to resign his seat following allegations of domestic abuse involving his campaign manager.

Patterson responded defiantly, denying he had hurt Escobar and saying, "I will not resign."

"I'm not going to be blackmailed," he added.

Meet the Romneys

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Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney delivered a speech the other night in front of a few friends (in a 65,000 seat stadium) in Detroit and tried to show off his buy American regular guy credentials by noting that he and his wife drive American cars and trucks. Two each. With Mrs. Romney driving not one but two Cadillacs, vehicles that start at $35,345 and go up to $88,435.

Enemy of the State

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This one appeared first in the Tucson Sentinel.

Arizona state Rep. Daniel Patterson lived with Georgette Escobar for about a year, in extramarital bliss. But then things went very, very wrong.


State Democratic leaders have called on beleaguered state Rep. Daniel Patterson to resign his seat following allegations of domestic abuse involving his campaign manager.

Patterson responded defiantly, denying he had hurt Escobar and saying, "I will not resign."

"I'm not going to be blackmailed," he added.

Cars and Drivers

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Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney delivered a speech the other night in front of a few friends (in a 65,000 seat stadium) in Detroit and tried to show off his buy American regular guy credentials by noting that he and his wife drive American cars and trucks. Two each. With Mrs. Romney driving not one but two Cadillacs, vehicles that start at $35,345 and go up to $88,435 (for the Stringer Bell model Escalade).

Some people might say it's insensitive during this "Lesser Depression" to speak of owning four vehicles, but some people own more. Many, many more.

The Natural

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In an apparent effort to show he's as zeitgeisty as the next guy, or at least, the next Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney quoted George Costanza during Wednesday's Republican presidential debate. He got the quote wrong, of course, and misidentified the speaker, but we appreciated the Seinfeld reference. Especially because Newt was warning of the imminent apocalypse.

Keep working' at it, Mittster!

Oh, God

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In the last of the Republican presidential debates Wednesday night in Mesa, Arizona, Mitt Romney said President Barack Obama had undermined religious tolerance in America. My guess is Romney was hinting to conservatives that the president is a closet Muslim, an atheist or has returned to the fold of Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Hinting that the president is "not our kind of people".

Which is funny, coming from Mitt, because ecclesiastically speaking, Mitt's "not our kind of people" either.

Rick Santorum, sitting to Mitt's right, didn't weigh in on the religious tolerance issue. He did that last week.

Invest in America

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Vote Santorum. Invest in America's future.

Santorum is coming!

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Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum is coming to Tucson, Arizona next week to speak at a Tea Party event. Santorum, who continues to turn up this result in Google searches, distinguished himself this week by suggesting that President Obama's agenda is based on "a phony theology", and whose main backer, Foster Friess, said this week of contraception, "Back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly.''


This comic was created for the Tucson Sentinel.

An International Incident

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Sean Penn is at it again. He's taking offense that the Royal Navy has deployed helicopter pilot Prince Harry to the Falklands, and the British media has taken offense that Penn has taken offense.

Meanwhile, the Japanese whaling fleet continues to spill more blood every year than was shed in Penn's "seas of such spilled blood" during the Falklands War.

Austerity

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Greece's parliament approved an austerity bill Monday that will permit the country to receive a EUR130 billion bailout from the European Union and International Monetary Fund. The passage of the bill, which includes a 22 percent cut to the country's minimum wage, was greeted with violent protests all around the country.

Elizabeth Regina

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The Retired Sergeants Club

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The race is on to fill Representative Gabrielle Giffords's Congressional seat and among those who have declared for the Republican primary are a couple of ex-soldiers: Tea Party candidate Jesse Kelly, who missed his calling as a military historian ("We were greeted as liberators. We were. I mean, by the ones that weren’t shooting at us.") and ex-Special Forces operative Frank Antenori, who wrote a book (er, had a book written) about his experiences in Iraq.

Scorpions in my Mailbox

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Arizona governor Jan Brewer's book is in the news again.

Remember last week, when the governor drove to the airport in Mesa to meet President Obama? When she wagged her finger under the president's nose and called him "thin-skinned" and said he had dissed her?

Well, Scorpions for Breakfast is back in the news. It seems that during the last six months of last year, the governor bought $3,400 worth of copies of the book from Amazon.com. Well, the governor didn't buy those copies, donors to her political action committee (Jan PAC) did. Jan PAC's tax filings show that the organization spent over five times as much on copies of the governor's book as on any other single expense.

Drive that Amazon ranking, Governor! Your constituents love you for it.

The Very Poor

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That inveterate man of the people, Mitt Romney, flashed his populist credentials again Wednesday, saying, "I'm not concerned about the very poor, we have a safety net there, if it needs repair, I'll fix it. I'm not concerned about the very rich, they're doing just fine."


It's difficult not to think of the (almost certainly apocryphal) story about Marie Antoinette, who is reputed to have said, on learning that the peasants had no bread, "Let them eat cake." 


Let them eat cake, Mitt, if they can't afford Wonder Bread, or whatever it is that poor people buy with their Democrat-enabled food stamps. 

The Successor

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On April 17, Democratic voters will select a candidate to contest a June 12 special general election to fill Rep. Gabrielle Giffords's seat in Congress. And if you don't think Arizonans don't have a view on who should fill Gabby's shoes, you've been sleeping. With the fishes.